Last year in Palestine. Sort of. It’s 2007. I have all but packed. Well, sort of. It’s a tough place to be at, sometimes. Even harder to leave. Although the food’s delicious, for many, it’s becoming increasingly difficult by the day to…
The Jerusalem Post
2006 began quite like 2005. And by ‘quite like’ I mean ‘not even remotely comparable’. There were parallels, mind you. Both January’s I served as election observer, presidential and parliamentary respectively. Which entailed a lot of barreling up and down the West…
On arrival I’m set up in the veranda, which is cherished office real estate. Especially in winter. Pamper the newbie, I guess. Back in the days the Bisan headquarters sits in Balu’a, a low-lying suburb of Ramallah of previously marshes, aquatic birds…
My landlord Mitri’s a geography teacher. Man, did he ever teach geography that day. It’s January. Orthodox Christmas. Palestinian Christians from the West Bank are allowed each year to enter Israel. Some good old divide et impera. A permit for worshipping in…
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict according to Scientology. It’s funny how Skully and Mulder never dedicated any time to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Plenty of scope for conspiracy and yet… nothing. Which represents of course, in and by itself, a conspiracy. Time to investigate. Coffee…
Time to get away. Escapism. We’re riding up North for three days. Beach, mountains, old stones, and a blissful absence of checkpoints. A day earlier I go to Jerusalem, get us a yellow-plate car. No use for the green-and-white. Makes me chuckle…
The IDF admits to using “agents provocateurs” at the weekly anti-wall demonstrations in Bil’in. “But they only start throwing rocks after the regular demonstrators do so.” Which begs the question; what’s the point of using infiltrators then? Once more, logic is that…
After a first concert, and the Ramallah workshops our destination is Yata, a small village south of Hebron. Mahmoud, who works for an organization that helps disadvantaged children flags our van, greets us with an energetic smile that could power Las Vegas.
“Things are a lot more uh, uh…complex… I got certain information. Certain things have come to light…. Uh.. It might not be just such a simple… uh… you know?” Ask a Middle East expert to explain, clear and succinct, what in God’s…
A cloud of uncertainty looms over the region… wait… no… Please don’t panic! It is an actual cloud. Coming from the kitchen upstairs. Lasagnas behaving badly. I’m ensconced at Zan Café, the Kasabah Cinema and Theater’s annexed lounge/restaurant/bar general-purpose watering hole, soaking…
“Crybabies.” Fie on anyone who calls them that. The inhabitants of Sderot I mean. “Killed by a rocket?” a friend of mine asked. “You mean this crude welding together of lawnmower spare parts? You’re more likely to get stabbed in Tel Aviv…
It’s almost noon. Outside the house nothing stirs save the occasional street cat. Dubya is in town. That’s one quiet president, lemme tell you, like he’s taken off his shoes and tiptoed past the Qalandia checkpoint to share sweet tea and whispered…
Murphy is wide awake. As am I. Although perhaps not as wide as the proverbial fat lady, given that she didn’t sing until about six this morning when I conveyed the Rumplestitchkins to their respective abodes. Rock n Roll, you know how…
“My uncle used to drink a lot. We’re talking way back, when a bottle of arak set you back a mere Shekel.” Ramzi’s eyes tell the story with vigor. His hands add to the narrative with exaggerated swigging motions. “He sure liked…
So it’s Christmas soon. The joy. Jingle bells. I’m not at all sure what to make of it anymore. Then again, it’s a religious holiday, not a lump of clay, so I’m pretty much off the hook on that account. Before on…
A logistical nightmare. Forget about sleeping. Murphy flaunts his Law, bares his fangs, incredulous almost. “Wait. Let me get this straight. You’ve invited a Belgian rock band to play, ánd host children’s music workshops? In Ramallah? The hills of Hebron? On the…
I’m out on the town. Any given Thursday. A couple of beers, a few laughs. Drunken ramblings. The later it gets, the less coherent becomes whatever leaves my mouth. “A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years…
I never cared much for musicals. I remember watching Mary Poppins as a child, impatient and wound up at these lengthy, unnatural irruptions of song and dance. The keen observer in me noticed a certain discrepancy with such unexplained sung jollity, and…
Not one, not two, but three missing links exist in the contentious realm of paleoanthropology. From 10 to 8 million years ago there lived in Africa a common ancestor to the four species of Great Apes, to wit; gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos, and…
I happily wore sandals today. Not exactly the stuff of red carpets, but they do afford a sense of liberty and ease that helps the imagination cling on to summer. In Belgium you don’t wear sandals in November. One of the perks…
Everybody loves a conspiracy. Even those who profess to hate them. They, of course, are part of the conspiracy. Obviously. Who shot JFK? I for one have a perfect alibi; I wasn’t born yet. That, of course, will hardly convince the avid…
Immediately after alighting from the plane at the brand new airport of Jericho, my wife and I head into the city, and hide for a while behind a promontory of chicken musakhan. The four-hour flight from Newark has rendered my belly a…
I’m a cynical bastard. It’s a self-defense mechanism I guess, a callus on the soul that treads a little softer on the daily carnage spewed out by the newsreel. I’ve long ago given up my belief in any kind of interventionist deity.
My email gives a soft “pling”. Suzan delivers the latest office updates. It’s that time again. During the holy month of Ramadan working hours will be from eight to four instead of nine to five. The rich meals at sundown to break…
Dome of the Rock. Someone who’s unfamiliar with the Middle East could be forgiven to assume it the name of a rock band. But then again, someone very familiar with the Middle East, and Ramallah specifically, will know that it is in…
Time travel runs counter to the laws of physics, however much renegade scientists or plain madmen will time and again claim to the contrary. Of course Einstein knew this too and, were he alive today, his surprise to find an Oktoberfest in…
What is the one thing toothpaste, deodorant, and musical conservatories have in common? They were invented in the 9th century by the man who added a fifth string to the Arab “oud”, thus creating the European lute and forerunner of the guitar.
Parents will be parents. Families worry as much as the cardiovascular system allows. Don’t ever let reality get in the way of fear. Blood pressure. Cholesterol. In many ways parenting is probably the most dangerous profession available to humans. “It’s not like…
What’s so Belgian about Belgium? What constitutes a nation? Julius Caesar once famously said, “Of all the Gauls, Belgians are the bravest.” Luckily he wasn’t there to see me run that day, in ignominious defeat, from a flock of geese. I am…
I am horrible at time-keeping. It is eight o’clock, and I’m standing at the bar. Muhammad, the bartender, greets me with a smile. “Kif halak?” “I’m fine,” I say, scanning the room. Ol’ Blue Eyes stares down at me from the wall,…
Are the Spice Girls in town? No, not really. Lebanese pop-singer Nancy Ajram then? Or perhaps eighties one-hit-wonder Charles & Eddie? If no one else can help you, and if you can find them,… maybe Palestinians hired the A-Team? Quite unlikely. And…
Just a regular town I got the job. The phone interview with a crackly voice, one time-zone away, had gone well. Belgian development money would pay for me to go and support a small organization that’s active in the field of women’s…