Out on the town
I’m out on the town. Any given Thursday. A couple of beers, a few laughs. Drunken ramblings. The later it gets, the less coherent becomes whatever leaves my mouth.
“A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, Bam! Herpes.” I like to blurt random quotes from Family Guy; anything to escape from politics. I spend a good deal of my coffee-sipping morning perusing the online papers. Better than going to the gym, if my heart rate is anything to go by. I listen to my future cardiologist, trying to steer clear of the stuff from the moment the sun sets.
“So then Stewie goes; put me through to the Pentagon….”
I’m interrupted by a short quiver from my mobile phone. The country prefix says Belgium; always happy to receive a dispatch from home. Even if that too is infiltrated by the most evil of necessities, that most necessary of evils; politics.
About a year ago my friend –who shall here go by the name “Ernie”- got enthralled by a dire scenario. After visiting Ramallah he acquired the habit of texting me fake news blurbs from a putative Belgian horror scenario.
“Flemish nationalist blows himself up at checkpoint on Avenue Anspach. Federal troops launch counter-terrorism operations in the suburbs. Several civilians are reported dead. Mutual recriminations abound. The U.N. stands powerless.” That sort of thing.
Not to be outdone I retort; “Jerusalem divided according to acclaimed Belgian model. Complex power-sharing structure is put in place, along with Norwegian contingent of peacekeepers to oversee adherence of both parties.”
I’m actually tapping away on the little phone keyboard, sauntering home at way past two-ish, as an Israeli army convoy barrels down the street, off to get some baddie near the old city no doubt. I do my best to ignore them.
“…just like we do with the squid.” I watch too much Family Guy.
Ignoring is what most people seem to be doing though; the all-night shuarma guy at Manara square, the cab drivers, some kids sipping Red Bull, an early fruit vendor setting up shop.
I stop and stare anyway. I’m tipsy and for a moment forget the self-imposed no-politics-after-sunset rule. I catch a glance of a scared-looking face inside a Hummer. “Dude,” I mutter, “I sure am glad you’re not paying to top that thing up with gas.”
“Nope,” I imagine his smirky reply, “American tax dollars at work. You might wanna stand back a little.”
I’m jangling my keys about the door when that familiar rat-tat-tat erupts. “Damn those cursed Flemish separatists….” It takes a couple of stabs to get the door open, and finally, contentedly, I put all this silliness to rest.
The daylight hurts a little, and as reality seeps in the next day I realize that Belgium will never be Palestine, or Israel for that matter, and vice versa. And yet….
The real headlines these days seem a-shuffle, nudged toward some vague, yet eerie metaphor, inverse parallels. In Brussels last week more than fifty thousand marched to counter the growing acrimony between both communities. In Jerusalem a prime minister utters, whispers, with quaky voice, the possibility of perhaps giving outlying parts of the city back to Palestinians.
Politics is where mere words intersect with reality, ideally. They haven’t been doing a lot of that lately, neither here nor there. Politicians are a funny bunch. That reminds me of something Peter said in Family Guy; “We promised Lois we'd use our powers responsibly, but I suppose doing the exact opposite couldn't hurt.”
1 | Diala, Thursday Nov 22, 2007
Nice one Kenis. However, I would revise the no-politics-after-sunset policy. Zan is the site of my most lucid epiphanies, and the 3 AM IDF forays into Ramallah are crucial for sobering up before crossing Qalandya home. Just think of the lives saved.
2 | Michael Dar, Monday Nov 26, 2007
I still wonder what you are actually doing in Ramallah or in the region at all for that matter! You could as well have written your science fiction from your hometown. What about addressing serious matters, for instance, or tackle the lies, disinformations etc.. coming from the Arabsand Palestinians and adopted, no questions asked, by the Belgian press. What about looking into the historical and gigantic invention/hoax of the Palestinian people..the so-called occupation etc.. Also asking some questions perhaps about how and why the Palestinian refugees, became refugees in the first place and are still refugees after almost 60 years etc..Previously unseen in human history etc..Boy,I would love to have a serious argument with you! Be my guest simba11@bezeqint.net
3 | Yeshiva, Monday Nov 26, 2007
Politics NEVER takes a day off, nor an amount of hours free. Did you read how the PM and the President say they're a 7% minority that is optimistic about a dumb parley tomorrow? How distantiated from your people - who you're supposed to be representing - can you be anyway? A majority is concerned about the dumb parley tomorrow, while the substantial minority of about 35% doesn't care for anything coming out of that parley, as they (like me) know NOTHING will be in real coming out of that stupid parley!
4 | Yeshiva, Monday Nov 26, 2007
But in Ramallah too the situation will be a "Status Quo", before, during, and after Annapols. Nothing is going to be changing anyway! That's why nobody has any reason to be even caring about the parley tomorrow. Today we have noticed that there won't be a tomorrow for the parley anyway! Just be HAPPY for that!
5 | Yeshiva, Tuesday Nov 27, 2007
Have you read Bush's latest flatter? I am glad, however, he committed another stupidity of that magnitude! Bush says he supports the "2-states solution." I told you already that the one 2-states solution there can be is the one which relocates all Palestinians in the USA, in a Sling State like Ohio! In Israel, about as big as our Netherlands, there IS NOT place (Lebensraum) to be giving the Palestinians an own state in which they (too) can really exist as people! THAT is impossible! And THEREFOR Arabs neighbouring Israelis and Palestinians HAVE to be willing to GIVE UP land for the sake of that Palestine they say to be wishing! THAT is the ONLY thinkable solution to this issue, and that means that Egypt AND Jordan WILL have to Get Real and start realizing THAT Reality! There's no other way to put this for a bunch of stubborn people to understand AND there is no other solution to this! Israel WON'T stop existing as a Jewish Nation and THAT'S WHY Palestine CANNOT exist on that same piece of land. WB & Gaza isn't a combination that can last as we already see what consequences an accelerated pull-out from Gaza has had! The ONLY thing I heard Bush saying (to Olmert) yesterday that made some sense was that the USA (FINALLY!) admits AND understands that USA CAN'T solve this! YEAH, THAT almost made ME come after I heard Bush FINALLY IN FACT admitting & conceding DEFEAT as far as that entire ME is concerned! USA CANNOT SOLVE THIS!